Cultural Enforcement Through Symbolism

"I was just shown the results for our first quarter. They were excellent. When mortals go through a prosperous period, it seems to be human nature for expenses to balloon. We are going to be the exception. I have just informed the purchasing department that they should no longer purchase paper clips. All of us receive documents every day with paper clips on them. If we save these paper clips, not only will we have enough for our own use, but we will also, in a short time, be awash in the little critters. Periodically, we will collect excess paper clips and sell them (since the cost to us is zero, the Arbitrage Department tells me the return on capital will be above average). This action may seem a little petty, but anything we can do to make our people conscious of expenses is worthwhile."

"Due to budget constraints, the following corporate policies are announced regarding employees traveling on official business. These policies are effective immediately. TRANSPORTATION Hitchhiking in lieu of commercial transport is strictly encouraged. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on company business trips. Bus transportation will be used whenever possible. Airline tickets will be authorized for purchase only in extreme circumstances, and the lowest fares will be used. If, for example, a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle. LODGING All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives or friends while on company business. If weather permits, public areas such as parks and parking lots should be used for temporary lodging sites. Bridges may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather. MEALS Expenditures for meals will be limited to the absolute minimum. It should be noted that certain grocery chains, such as General Nutrition Centers and Piggly Wiggly stores, often provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can often be obtained in this manner. Travelers should also become familiar with indigenous roots, berries and other protein sources available at their destination."

"Observing these figures makes me more determined than ever to follow the simple rules laid down by the Dean of Business Philosophers, Haimchinkel Malintz Anaynikal: 1- Stick to thine own business. 2- Watch thy shop. 3- Limit thy losses. 4- Watch thy expenses like a hawk. 5- Stay humble, humble, humble. 6- When dealing with a new account, know thy customer and know thy customer’s money is up. At the partners meeting two weeks ago, it was pointed out to me by Haimchinkel Malintz Anaynikal that the hors d’oeuvres had been upgraded considerably from peanuts. You will be happy to know that we are now back to peanuts. This may seem like a small saving, but it’s the thought that counts."

"We have a Purchasing Department, delighted to deliver FAX paper to you for $7.35 per roll. Why not call them? We are offering an incentive to induce you to use Purchasing. In the future, accounts payable will not pay any invoice (over $200) for equipment or supplies without Purchasing Department’s approval. If Purchasing finds it could have obtained the item at a lower price, the Senior Managing Director or other executive who authorized the purchase will be charged personally for the difference."