Fearlessness Borrowed from Greater Terror

“The consensus was: *Stay as far away as possible from this high-wire act*. And yet I never—then or later—ever felt cowed by the risk of failing. My one primary fear had the by-product of eliminating almost every other fear a rational person would have. It wasn’t that I had found courage—that was never going to happen—I just have never seen business projects as risky. My blindness for that is rooted in the stark fact that I’ve only ever been really deeply frightened by the consequences of homosexuality. Everything else is small beer. What a trick of the mind it was to allow me to act with such bravery.”

“I pleaded ignorance of the law and kept my job, but my bumptious pursuit of the straightest line from problem to solution kept getting me into trouble: I’d see the older executives at ABC to-ing and fro-ing with caution and delicacy, respecting channels and protocols and worrying that every action had consequence and risk that would upset their careers and financial security. I, on the other hand, saw only linear logic and was able to proceed directly, without the distractions of normal family life (and, to be honest, financial worry) or any of its curbing responsibilities. I was bashing forward all the time because I didn’t see the risks an average person would.”